Let's for today, on this day, think about how as women, we use the word 'enough'.
It is a powerful word. But its power is both positive and negative in its context and definition.
Enough is a word that can stop you in your tracks or drive you forward to share the very best of who you are.
It's a word that can be used for good, to elevate and inspire or a word that can voice the need to stop oppression, end evil, and serve justice.
I am enough !
I've had enough !
These are two equally powerful statements, but they have two very different outcomes.
Which is truest for you? Which is more comfortable for you to say?
Can both be true? Maybe one has to be true for the other to have real power.
The way we use the word and its context obviously determine its meaning. Being enough and having had enough, or indeed feeling like you have enough, all leave us in entirely different places.
"Enough is enough" has power and determines what our limits are and what we need to limit in our lives.
"I am enough" is equally powerful and can empower and determine the limits we put on ourselves.
How often do we have to remind ourselves we are enough?
Am I the only one who struggles with comparison? Am I the only one who has both great confidence in what I know and believe, yet at the same time can question whether it's okay to share my thoughts and feelings?
Why, when we have more opportunity and independence in our world than at any other time in our history, do we still struggle to feel enough?
Why, at a time in our history where we have never had a louder voice, is it still hard to hear us when we say enough?
Why is it so difficult to see our own value and to be able to hold onto that value and see its power?
There are a lot of questions here and lots of answers to these questions. Many of the answers are related to recognition, status, and patriarchy.
But some of the answers come from what we believe of ourselves as women and what we believe of other women too.
Maybe we just haven't had enough practice in valuing who we are?
That could be the case both individually and collectively. Maybe we have spent too much time defending ourselves and not enough time commending ourselves.
Many of us are good at encouraging others. We are totally okay to tell others how good they are. We are not as good or don't feel as comfortable telling others what is good about ourselves or what we are good at.
But sometimes, maybe a lot of times, we don't actually celebrate others very loudly.
What would happen if we started celebrating each other's achievements so loudly and so clearly that there could be no doubt we believe they are enough.
Don't you need me to tell you I believe in you and think you are enough, just as much I need to hear it from you? Of course, that is true.
When we can sincerely and authentically encourage each other, our 'enough' becomes even more powerful.
Imagine if we said enough to comparing the achievements of others to our own. Instead, we just simply said to ourselves and others, 'well-done that's amazing.'
I believe it is challenging to truly celebrate others until we have each individually learned how to celebrate ourselves.
Celebrating ourselves is not something we are taught. It is not something we practice, and it is not always something that is encouraged. Maybe because we haven't learned how to celebrate ourselves without feeling like we actually diminish another in the process.
So, where do we learn to do it better?
We learn most things in life by example, by seeing it in action. I suspect accepting who we are and our value comes from seeing others accept themselves and their value.
I have great role models in my life, and they have helped me and continue to help me see my value.
But even with their encouragement, it is hard to stay confident and assured in who I am.
For me, there are so many different perspectives as I view myself. I know for sure I am enough in the sense of who I know I was created to be. My faith determines my value, as I know I am valued by someone who loves me without condition.
But my sense of self in the world contradicts my confidence in who I am in my faith. My understanding of my own value diminishes as I allow who I am and how I am valued, be determined by my relationships and the expectations of those relationships.
Am I enough in relation to the man I have chosen to love? Am I enough for the girl I have been given to raise? Am I enough for the children I work with within my profession? Am I enough of a daughter, a sister, a friend, a Christian, a member of society?
Where is the bar to determine my success or failure in any of these areas?
We are in a time when women need to not only be valued but more than ever, we need to recognise our own value amongst the noise of our world.
That challenge is real as we look at the news and the current state of play regarding how our voice, skills, and bodies are valued.
And while it can never be as simple as saying we have to value ourselves first, am I naïve to suggest it's a good first step. The sooner I can say to myself enough is enough; that I am enough, the sooner that can be true.
There is power in knowing I have what I need to grow and learn and contribute.
When I can say to myself, enough of the second-guessing my value and my self-worth, enough of the negative self-talk, body shaming, and doing what is right for everyone else, I have to believe things will begin to change in my life. I have to believe I can influence change in the lives of those around me.
It's not as simple as mind over matter, but it is one step closer to believing I am enough just for me.
And I think that is the start we all need.
When I can celebrate with confidence who I am, what I have achieved, and what I will achieve, those who are watching me can too.
We all have someone who is watching us. And never just one person. We do not have to have hundreds of followers on social media to know we are influencing someone around us.
Each of us is an influencer in our own space; there are younger women and older women who see me every day.
When I am authentic, honest, and real, I will show my power. When I can celebrate who I am in my successes and failures, I can show that I am enough.
The value of the word enough could be overwhelming. Yet, the mere acceptance of it can bring powerful peace and contentment.
Today is International Women's Day. We want this day to celebrate women for who we are and what we contribute to the world, and what we have achieved.
It's hard to celebrate when each time we turn on the news or scan social media, we see another example of women being devalued, damaged, or shamed. But that can never be true. Not celebrating women can never be part of our story.
Where we are today is not the end of the story.
My story of being enough starts with using my voice to say loudly, "enough is enough." Enough of being part of a narrative that reinforces a lie rather than stands up for the truth.
I am enough because you are enough.
We do not need a special day to celebrate how 'enough' we are. We must make each and every day a day when we know what is enough and that we are enough.
Let enough be the word that drives you forward to share the very best of who you are. Let it define the very best of who you are and encourage you in the choices you make for yourself. Allow enough to empower you to speak out for those around you and elevate them to your height and higher.
Let enough be enough for you.
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